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Chapter 3: Ghosts.

Jotunheimen, camps in the valley.  June 17th 1996. 00:49h.

With as much silence as he could manage Khan moved through the green vegetation of the hilltop he was climbing. He kept telling himself how much of an idiot he was being, that he was putting himself through more risks than logic allowed him to pass through. But so far he had been having dumb luck. He had taken a plane to Norway, a long flight that had left him blessedly undetected. It had gotten a little difficult at the airport, people had noticed a flaw in his fake ID but it was just put off as an old card, luckily. But he would do it again too. Because a safe escape meant nothing if he could not make it without the one he loved most. He finally reached the top of the hill and looked down below to the lights of camp. So primitive, tents. He carefully started on his way down. It had taken some time to track his lover. He had completely fallen off the map after his defeat two months ago. But he knew who it was that had defeated him, and Thor would not leave his little brother to rot. No, Loki would be isolated and put in prison when things were calm again. In the meantime, Odinson had come up with this. He was grateful for the man for once. To break Loki out of prison would have been much harder than to get the man out of this little camp. It was a warm night, the air cool but never cold as he rustled through the leaves. He entered camp by the supply-tents, hiding behind the boxes as he studied the different structures to assess where to find his Loki.
“When will we move again?” Khan heard a voice ask.
“In a few days.” Thor’s voice said. “I have arranged transport for Loki but it has yet to arrive.”
“He doesn’t deserve it you know…” the other countered.
“Loki is a human being!”
“I doubt it. He did some pretty in-humane things. ”
“Do not speak like that of him!”
“Jesus Thor he tried to kill you.”
“He is just confused! That project he was in changed him…”
“Stop trying to excuse his behaviour Thor. Loki is a war-criminal and a monster.”
“He is MY brother!”
"He WAS. Once he was. But Christ Thor. That thing we keep locked up only bears his face now. Loki is dead."
Khan watched from behind the crates as Thor vigorously shook his head. Of course that oaf still believed in his sweet baby brother. But Khan knew better. He had not known Loki before the program. But he knew the man it had created. Loki was powerful, intelligent and calculating. There was nothing sweet about him. Khan loved him to death. He waited for the men to leave and headed into the camp. There was one tent with a wooden floorboard under it. So the soil would not offer a way out. That was where Loki was.
He looked around one more time to make sure he would not run into anyone and made a run for the tent. He stayed low and when he reached the white canvas he was still unnoticed. This was so simple. He knew that Loki even knew that as well. He could have broken out with all the ease in the world, probably even take a snack and some clean clothes on the way. But why didn’t he?
He checked the close, the zippers were locked together with a code-lock. Khan let out a bit of a laugh at it and held the pad under his flashlight, he could see which buttons were littered with finger-prints right away. But he also knew that Thor wasn’t too great on numbers so it would be something he knew. A birthday, a year, a house number or postal code from where they lived once. But when he saw the numbers that were to be included he almost rolled his eyes at the simplicity. Loki’s birthday.
His fingers were quick to pad in the keys. The soft beep confirmed his hunch that he was right and he took the lock off. The zippers were simple… This was all child’s play for Loki. He could have gone out of here within five minutes of his arrival. Khan was getting worried. Clearly he was still here, Thor had eyes on him every day at least. His lips thinned and he zipped open the tent and let himself in. The floor was covered in a total of twenty different carpets. Thor had no sense of decoration, it almost hurt to look at that floor. On the far end was a simple matrass, square, to the point, with some grey sheets and a pillow. Thor was taking good care of his brother. He could see the telling bulge of a human form under the sheets and walked over slowly. Loki was asleep. He kneeled down next to the matrass and peeled away the blanket a bit. Yes… Loki’s face. He was fast asleep, too deep. Loki had the perception and instincts of a predator, he should have woken up even before Khan touched the lock to his tent. Cryo-sleep. Thor had neutralized the danger that was Loki by shutting him down. Asleep Loki was a danger to nobody. Khan sighed and let his thumb go over the smooth skin of his lover’s cheek. He had missed that porcelain skin, he had missed those long black eyelashes, the thin lips, those raven hairs. He had missed the touch of them.
“Oh Loki… I missed you.” He muttered.
When his ache of being separated for so long had faded he slowly peeled back the sheets. Loki was dressed in soft pajamas of black cotton. They were good quality as expected really. He saw the small punctures in Loki’s arm where the liquid was injected. Thor was waking him up and putting him under multiple times. That meant that he would keep the injections somewhere near here too. Khan roamed around the tent, looking for a stash, a box, a compartment. He would not leave without Loki tonight. That much was certain. It took a while before Khan realized that the box was not here. That would mean Thor was keeping it on him. Well, that WAS a problem. Without the antidote to pull Loki out of his induced sleep there was no use in taking him away… Khan huffed and let his fingers go through Loki’s hair. So close, he was so close…
There had to be a way to cut Thor out of this equation. Subdue him as he came to wake Loki? No, there was nowhere to hide, and Thor was like a giant. He was strong as a bear and he wasn’t dumb either. Of course he was less smart than Loki and him, but dumb? No. He bit his nails and looked around. But of course. Thor was carrying around a dosage only. The supply-tent had to hold the back-up flasks to keep Loki asleep for longer periods, and also more antidote to wake him up more often. He just had to get his hands on an unused flask and a syringe. He softly kissed Loki’s forehead.
“I’ll be back shortly, my beautiful Loki. I promise.” He said as he left his lover and locked up the tent once again to get what he would need to wake him.

Apartment-block south-side 157,Iowa. April 15th 2262. 23:34h.

Khan had no idea what he was doing, his blood was frozen in his body. Every muscle, every sense, it all came to a halt. This was stupid. What if the man woke up? He would see him! He would disarm him while he was just standing here like a fool. He pressed the tip of his blade to the man’s jugular again. His blood rushed. This wasn’t him. This was not his Loki. He could not be his Loki. The man’s name was Tom. Thomas William Hiddleston, a dear friend of Kirk’s father. He was about 60, but had spent long years in cryo from a terrible set of injuries after the demise of the USS Kelvin. His face and body were therefore about 30 years old. Khan had seen his life, he could not be Loki.
But the face, the face of his lover was the same as his. And he could not set his blade into the neck of Loki. He could not convince himself that this was a completely different person. Not with that face. His face contorted as his hand started shaking, and with a pained grunt he removed the dagger from his own grip, setting it back at his side. He breathed heavily, his eyes stung with tears. Tears! He was fighting tears over a stranger. He stepped back, his chest heaving as he put a hand over his face. Tom Hiddleston… He could not kill him. The man remained asleep, luckily Khan was still silent in his daze. If the other man had woken up… well… God knows what would have happened. He secured his blade back to his side, on his belt where it could no longer do harm. He stayed like that for a while, standing there. He was starting to get more aware of his surroundings.
This apartment was definitely one of the newer kind. The modern. Most of the walls and furniture were white or light wood, giving it a lot of light and space. This Tom had made something of it, mostly filling his empty space with books. There were easy tablets to use for reading, downloading all books that were written since the dawn of time. But as a novelist and writer he figured the physical touch and feeling of a proper book was a must.  In his bedroom the man kept two bookcases full of them, his bed was against the far wall, the window above it casting in a line of moonlight that came through the crack between the curtains. The sheets were a dark blue, creating something like a dark sea around his pale body. The rest of the room was mostly personalized with several little ornaments, probably quite personal to the man, to Khan half of them did not make sense. It felt weird at some point, standing in the man’s house without the other even aware of his presence, just looking at where he lived, and each time Khan felt his eyes go back to Tom. He felt weird, he felt completely put off.
The one thing that had been certain for tonight had crumbled. It had been certain that this man would die tonight, in his hunger for revenge and lust for blood, this man was going to pass. Only, he had not killed him, and the longer he was standing there, the more certain he was that he was not going to do it. No, Tom Hiddleston would not die tonight.

The Enterprise. April 16th 2262. 01:54h.

With renewed vigour the Enterprise crew had been working today. They were preparing the ship for Scotty’s travel-plan. It was quite some work. It would cost them two days, maybe three to transfer the powerlines, the drives, half of the ship’s core… Many things had to be replaced to get them to travel quicker. But the 3 days they would lose doing this they would win back by cutting their travelling time back to 6 days instead of a little under 30. Kirk returned to the bridge when midnight drew closer. Khan always opened his transmissions around midnight. Well, midnight back home. They lived by their rhythm back home in America, out here in space time-zones didn’t really apply after all. But it was almost 2am now and there was nothing.
“Sulu… Did we lose power to our communications?”
“No, we can’t transmit but we are still receptive for signals. If Khan is calling he can come through easily, there’s no sign of any radio-traffic calling in.”
Kirk nodded. He felt a near relief that it seemed that nobody died tonight. But heavier than his relief was the anticipation and dread that it could mean that Khan was planning something bigger. Something worse.
“We really can’t call outwards?” he asked carefully.
“Sorry captain, we can’t. We would have to start up systems that are all taken apart for the big warp and we would lose power that we need to fire the core.”
Kirk nodded.
“Maybe they have him. The police. Surely they are looking for him.”
“You think? We gave the police nothing to go by. Nobody on Earth knows that it’s Khan. They won’t have leads, he makes sure to not have a signature to alert people of a serial killer… I don’t think he’s been caught. At best he’s walked against a hick-up. He has to leave out a night. Or worse… He’s planning something bigger. Something… that takes more planning.”
The doors slid open and Spock came in.
“No news yet Captain?”
Kirk slowly shook his head, body deflating. He sat sagged in the chair, he was tired. This time not from his whirl of emotions, no, tonight was from all the work they had done. He was tired and used up.
“Well, that does not have to be a bad thing. Statistically speaking the odds are equal that it is 50% likely on either side…. But I do think it is a good thing captain, call it gut-feeling.”
Kirk snickered a little and shook his head, blue eyes drifting out of the window shortly.
“Gut feeling huh? Well I suppose that solves the whole dilemma.”
He smiled lightly. They were all standing in a line, his dear friends. They all looked worn out, tired, worked to the max.
“As long as no news comes, let us just assume it’s good news. There is nothing we can do up here anyway.” He stood and stretched.
“You all worked hard, we’ll put the ship in slumber mode so that we only need two people on the bridge, just get to bed and sleep a good night. Tomorrow we will hopefully get the last things ready to fire off into the warp.”

For a moment the others seemed to consider complaining, saying they were not tired, that they could work another full night if needed. But those would be nothing more than big fat lies. They did need a few hours of sleep, or they would make critical mistakes in the whole process of rewiring the ship. And nobody wanted that fatal mistake on their conscience. Slowly they all dispersed off to bed, for the first time now without phantom screams in their heads or images that were still swimming across their retinas of another death. It was oddly peaceful actually. Still, it did not feel right, it felt ominous.

Apartment-block south-side 157,Iowa. April 16th 2262. 10:26h.

Tom woke up the morning after his meeting with Winona on a time later than he usually kept to. He could have expected it. He had been sleeping awfully these past few days. He wasn’t worried, but shaken nonetheless. However, his decision to take his latest work to bed and write on it until he felt sleep lurk had been his best call in a good long while. He rolled on his back with a soft grunt, the sheets had left their mark all over his body, the creases and folds had made light impressions over the expanse of his skin.
He needed more sunlight, he decided when the sight of the sharp light from outside hit his arm in a sleek white beam, almost blinding him when it reflected on his pale skin. He did not colour in the sun… Not really, he got freckles, here and there. Specks of brown like little droplets of paint on a white canvas. He sat up straight and let the blankets pool into his lap. He rubbed his face as he adjusted to the sunlight that filled his room. His eyes squeezed shut every time he looked to the window again, his pupils rapidly slinking away to the middle of his light eyes. They were blue, his eyes, a light shade, clear like water, and colouring along with environments, from blue like summer-skies to grey like a winter puddle, or the lightest of greens. But they were always soulful. Tom wore his heart on his sleeve. It was what made him a good writer, but it was also a thing that got him mocked and bullied because he was emotional. He opened his curtains with a firm press on the pad that operated his house from different access-points.
He paused however when he found the orange light blinking at the top. The apartment system kept track of all the devices used in his home, and when it picked up unusual errors it put them in a log. Tom just huffed, probably that bug in the kitchen again. He hoped the fridge hadn’t blinked out for two hours again. Last time the smell of sour milk had been unbearable.  He pressed a few buttons to call up the log. It wasn’t the power in the kitchen. The lock. It had been accessed twice from outside, once when Tom had come home last night, and one more time somewhere around 11. Tom thought it was a bug in the system, but there was another log going out again about half an hour later.
Tom hopped out of bed, shaking down the pant-leg of his pyjamas. He only wore the pants, the apartment was always warm. He walked back to the front door and opened it, looking at the pad outside. It looked ordinary enough, nothing wrong. But Tom could see the small blue light that was blinking just around the side. He shifted the lock slightly and took off the clip. A decoder. Someone had broken into his house? He ran back in, slamming the door behind him. What did they take? Not his laptop, not his old books which were worth a fortune nowadays… please. But there was nothing missing, nothing. Not his wallet, even though it was in plain sight, his laptop which was only under three sheets of paper, his phone, his books… Nothing had been stolen.
Suddenly he felt cold. The killings… Was he next? Did that… monster scour the place to make a plan to murder him. Tom swallowed, suddenly wide awake. Oh dear god… He shot back into the bedroom, grabbing the first top he could find and pulling it over his head, the curls on his head shortly bouncing up as they pulled through the hole for his head. He returned to the living room, his fingers shaking when he cleared the paper from his laptop and started it up. Maybe it was a bug…. Maybe he didn’t close the door… But the decoder… Why would- He was rubbing his neck almost compulsively, the skin reddening under the rough treatment of his own hand. He stopped then, his fingers tracing the ridge of a small crust. It could not have been more than a few drops when it bled. But it was right on his jugular. A tiny spot… Almost like the tip of a blade pressing- He felt the air leave his lungs. His fingers now shook so much that he had to retype his password three times. He had surveillance, he could see if anyone entered his house. He would be able to tell… Right? Or would the cameras have been offline? No. No, he needed to know. He couldn’t just go on knowing, suspecting, that his house had been invaded, his skin broken. And he had not even known it. He logged into the camera feeds and waited before the libraries had loaded. He did not even realize that he was trembling until he failed to fix his hair properly. He was scared. He got up to make breakfast while the recordings of last night loaded for view. He made toast and eggs, but he almost burned himself three times.
“God damnit. Get a grip.” He hissed at himself.
He worked down his breakfast and watched the cameras, for a while he just watched himself go around the house yesterday, do some work, making dinner, watching the news, all that. He skipped through until the timer hit somewhere around 11:30 at night. Tom almost turned white as a sheet as the door from the hallway into his apartment was slowly pushed open, a man sneaking in, taking a look around, his hand curled around something in his pocket. Tom was numb as he watched him move to his bedroom. There was someone in his home. He watched a steel blade slide out, coming down to his own sleeping form. And then it halted. The man just stopped, frozen. Tom could not see who it was, what had stopped him, but for more than a minute the image seemed to freeze. Then, slowly, the other backed up. As he turned Tom paused the screen, looking at the blurred face of his assailant. Khan Noonien Singh. Tom swallowed and then leaned over to study the image of the man.
“Why did you let me live?”
The past always haunts ch.3
Aaaaaaaaaah I just opened the file for this fic and I realized I had finished chapter 3 months ago, and I NEVER uploaded it. I am the biggest dumbest idiot on this planet. So uh, yes, here is the third chapter for you guys. I am really sorry.
Chapter 10: Face-off.

Thor was oddly calm once they had headed away. Somehow the thrill of battle and the promise of a fight made his worries seem like minor issues. He knew that he could help Loki by doing something, by standing by his side. Now, he only cared about speed, hurry, faster and faster. He needed to be there. Every second wasted to catch a breath could be a second too much. Tony could not follow him at the same speed, it asked too much of his suit, but Thor would see him there, he would be able to hold off any enemies long enough. He touched down on the grounds of the industrial park, just remembering Tony’s warning about catching attention so that he could land between some steel plates. He couldn’t see Loki. He was inside somewhere already. Norns forbid he would be too late, not again.

Loki was quiet when he snuck into the building that held the Chitauri. He was not like Thor, barging in with his powers blazing, it wouldn’t do. He needed to know things first. How many were there? How did they get here? And what was the device he had seen before? He moved slowly, his back close to the wall. The warehouse was relatively empty, there were a few old tables and workspaces, the odd larger compartment of things that the humans had built here once. The place was grim. Loki did not like it here at all, it was just so dark and cold. He heard them, the Chitauri. He could hear the noises they made to communicate. It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end with memories. He grit his teeth against it. No, he would not be afraid. This was his chance to take back his own strength. To show them that he was not just the cowering little prince. Thor, Thor’s friends, the Chitauri: They would all know it. He rounded a corner, hiding himself behind the old working-bench nearby. There were about 8 of them, Chitauri foot folk. They were  working on the device, a machine that had the size of a small car. He did not trust the look of it. It looked like a canon, but there was no ammo nearby, no crates or energy tubes. If it was something that had to fire, they were not planning on doing so soon. Was that a good thing? He was not so sure yet.
He rounded the corner and snuck to a closer bench. They were making it ready for something anyway, the mechanics were functioning. Loki had to know what they were doing. He sighed and looked to a nearby door before he projected the image of a man there, a Midgardian man, simple and plain, just enough for the Chitauri to spot. He waited for one of them to look up before he made his projection run off as if he had been spotted. The Chitauri took the bait, gathering their weapons and chasing after the image that had fled down the hallway. Loki waited for a while before he walked towards the device. It was indeed huge. But he could not find anything it would have to fire. He looked behind him for a moment more before he pried off one of the plates to look inside. For a while he was just looking at wires until he could see the tubes. They were significant, made of glass. He parted the wires and looked at the runes that were carved in their holders. These were mage-runes. The device was not to fire, it was to drain. They had made it to collect the power from the Tesseract to turn it into a weapon. He set his jaw tightly. Oh that was not good at all. He made to get up and turned. He met the faces of 6 Chitauri, they had already surrounded him. He instinctively reached for the knives he usually carried with him, but he did not have anything. He was pretty sure they recognized him even through his disguise. They were not stupid. One lunged forward and he shot a bolt of his magic at it, making it screech in pain. He made ready to do the same to the rest, but any plans went lost when one of them hit him hard enough on the head to make him stumble, another hit and he fell over forward, vision dimming instantly. One of them had snuck up behind him. He really was out of his depth. Normally he would have sensed them, and a simple hit to the head wouldn’t have fazed him so much. But he was not yet in shape, not as he should be, not like he usually was.

When Loki woke up again he was relieved not to be in tremendous pain. His arm pulsed, quite horribly too.  
“Loki?” He heard. “Can you hear us?”
That was Banner’s voice. There was some shuffling.
“Brother, please wake again. Are you well?” Thor asked.
Loki grunted then and opened his eyes. He was warm though, fever? He was looking into a bright set of lights, white almost.
“Jarvis, dim the light above his head.” Tony immediately ordered.
“His eyes are really creepy like that.” Pepper’s voice muttered.
Loki shook his head, back in Stark Tower. He was safe. Thor must have found him. He waited for his vision to focus and saw that they were all there, Bruce, Thor, Pepper, Stark… And they all sported the same concerned gaze. Loki hummed and slowly brought up his hand to rub in his eyes. But as he did he saw a flare of blue rather than soft pink. He gasped and shot up. His entire skin, he was Jotun.
“Loki, easy.” Thor immediately said, putting a hand on Loki’s shoulder. He was wearing gloves, the rest was also dressed warmly, sweaters and scarves, Loki got a hunch that the temperature here was kept low by Stark to favour him.
“What happened to me?” Loki hissed.
“We hoped you could tell us. When we found you the Chitauri had fired this weapon at you, Thor thought you were dead.” Bruce explained, carefully taking Loki’s arm.
“They used their device on me…” Loki cursed. “They took my magic.”
Thor squeezed his shoulder harder.
“They… They can’t do that. Magic is part of you, they can’t just take that right? It’s-”
“You think I look like THIS for bloody good fun?”
This form that he despised so much. Thor frowned and knelt in front of him.
“What do we do? Can I help you? Do anything?”
Loki looked at Thor’s face and then at Banner who finished the new wrap on his broken arm, assuring it was still fine.
“I will have to wait. The device cannot destroy the paths of Seiðr in me. But the reservoirs they made for me are completely empty and drained now. It will take weeks, at least two, before they are back on track. It will be at least two or three more DAYS before I can even turn my skin back to normal.”
He looked at the ring he used for his disguises, the gems were all cracked like cheap glass, the magic gone. He put his hands over his face and took a few deep breaths, feeling an anger rise up just as strong as a fear. He needed his magic. He was NOTHING without it, hopeless, small and weak.
“May we speak alone?” Thor asked then to his friends.
They were staring and he just knew that Loki only felt more pressured if they were there. One by one they left, glad to return to the warmer comfort of the rest of the tower. Loki knew that Thor was cold too, his breath came out in puffs of steam and he rubbed his arms. But this was nothing compared to their first encounter in Jotunheim. Thor pulled a chair close. Loki had been on a table, but a cushioned one, that would keep him comfortable.
“Stark informed me that he made these rooms for when he was still sick with that device that kept the shrapnel away from his heart. It’s old technology he was talking about. Primitive. But the bottom line was that you could be looked at here without involving Midgard’s hospitals.”
Loki nodded, but it was only half-heartedly.
“We need to get that device and destroy it. They made it to drain and harness the power of the Tesseract, I’m almost sure of it. If they manage to do so, they could control the strength of it into a weapon, a beam. The focused devastation can take planets apart with a good shot.”
“And we will go do that… But Loki, brother… You need me first. Is there anything I can do? Anything I can retrieve for you to help your recovery?”
Loki huffed and shook his head, his hands curling around the table. He looked at his bare feet, protruding from under the sweat-pants that Stark had most likely provided for him.
“There is nothing. It’s something my body has to make of its own.”
He slammed his hand down.
“Another setback! It’s like I cannot do a single damn thing right anymore!”
Thor winced a little and reached out for Loki.
“You are in a bad position. But you are not alone Loki. You have us. Stark has apologized for his behaviour too. You have a team, you have people to help you. Please, don’t give up your hopes.”
Loki sighed and smiled thinly.
“You always insist on making things look light again.”
Thor leaned his elbows on his knees and looked into Loki’s eyes, blood-red and shimmering with tears.
“And you cry and feel lost so quickly.” He chuckled and brushed a hand through his brother’s hair.
“Experience I suppose.” Loki sniffed a little, smiling through his upcoming tears.
“Nonsense, come… Will you be able to join us for a meal? You will probably recover much better if you eat and sleep well.”
Loki wiped at his eyes and laughed a little.
“Yeah. I will be right with you, let me find a shirt so I don’t frostbite people.”
Loki brushed off his brother’s hands then and came to his feet.
“You can go ahead, I’m sure I’ll be able to find my way there.”
Thor was about to protest and say that it was no trouble for him to wait up and walk with Loki, but he quickly came to realise that Loki himself rather see him there later.
“Do not take too long then, I’d have to come retrieve you.”
Loki snorted a little and traced one of the Jotun lines that took up his shoulder.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
Thor nodded and left Loki to his own devices then. He could understand that Loki would feel a need for some privacy, after all, he had only just woken up after being cornered. He had been lucky that Thor and the rest were on time. Thor grit his teeth a bit. If he had lingered any longer, who knows what state Loki could have been in. Or worse, he could have been gone, taken somewhere. On the other hand, if he had just been quicker, Loki wouldn’t have lost his magic. He took the elevator back to the lounge room where the others had gathered, the same room where they had eaten before and enjoyed conversation. The rest was already there, sort of huddled by the coffee-table and looking at Thor quite anxiously.
“Is it permanent?” Banner asked. “The blue state… Because, he seems to hold quite a hatred to it.”
“No. It’s not permanent. 2 days, Loki said. It’s his true state… But he decided to deny this. It’s a difficult thing for outsiders to grasp.”
Loki joined them shortly after. He had put on a simple shirt, long-sleeved and soft. Together with the baggy pants that Pepper had gotten for him earlier, Loki looked a lot less intimidating. He looked skinny and even a bit small.
“You want anything?” Thor immediately asked.
“Ice. It’s so warm out here.”
Tony stood and came back with a jacket instead that could regulate temperatures.
“I use it under the suit sometimes, to keep me warm, but it can also keep you cold so…”
He handed it over and sighed a bit.
“For what it’s worth I apologize that I put you in that position. I was wrong. But you really, really messed with my head  with the shit you pulled in New York- I could not trust you, I could not bring myself to it until I saw it.”
Loki hummed and pulled the fabric over his shoulders, cooling down at least a bit now.
“It’s all well.”  He just muttered.
“Hungry?” Pepper asked instead, bringing out the food she had cooked. “You will recover better when you eat well.”
Loki put his head in his hands and sighed deeply, not looking at any of them.
“To be honest… I just really want to be alone at this moment.”
They looked between each other.
“Are you angry with us brother?” Thor asked.
“No… But I have been talked to, pushed and pulled at from every side these past days. Good intentions, bad intentions. Encouragements, warnings, conversations, advices everywhere… I just want to be alone for a moment… Before I completely lose my head again.”
He stood up from the table and took the plate that Pepper had handed him.
“I’ll lower the temperatures in your room for your own comfort then.” Tony said.
Loki only nodded and walked away, leaving the rest alone at the table to eat in silence.
“Should we be worried now?” Pepper asked Bruce then, slightly worried.
“No. You shouldn’t. In fact, this is a very healthy reaction. It means he is processing things and that he is willing to take the time to let it settle. I say you best leave him to it, he might be gloomy and he would not want to be disturbed. But I am confident he would come out of it much more secure.”
He looked at Thor then and smiled thinly.
“All you can do for now my friend is sit back and wait… You will have to accept that you simply cannot always do something for him. And he would want you to trust him to handle himself too.”
Thor looked up the stairs and smiled.
“Loki has always been keen on his time alone. I only think it’s for the better that he took it for himself. It means he is starting to gain a certain confidence again.”
Tony frowned but said nothing of it.
“Well… At least this is quite an eventful slumber party, one could say.”
The enemy of my enemy ch.10
It has almost been a year... A year! I feel so, sooooo guilty that I took this damn long. But I finally found my place. I study something I love now... And freshman year is so busy, so much to do... I totally lost the time. Now it's summer break and finally I got to sit down and return to this. So, here it is... A bit short maybe- I know. But I had to get back into the vibe... Let's hope for all our sanities that next update does not take another year.
Ours by Epselion
I made Crimson Peak art. It's for the artbook initiative that happened on tumblr a while ago. This was what I made. Of course, as a Hiddles fanatic I had to make Thomas Sharpe. And I tried to go high contrast to make it look darker and gloomier. And I am happy with the result. I'm kind of wanted the concept of him melting together with the house because it's alive and all that. 

Please comment or critique, would make me happy :)
Sting-color project. by Epselion
Sting-color project.
So uh, I have been working on the Photoshop some more lately, trying to find my preferences, and this 3rd project is something I really like. It looks very satisfying to me. Sting is my own original character and this portrait is also in my gallery with black and white. It's the exact same one, because I painted over the pencil drawing, I love how the pencil lines give texture to the skin layers. 

The time spent on this is about 60 hours, Photoshop CS6. 

Tag challenge

Journal Entry: Thu Jun 12, 2014, 5:40 AM
So, I never get these things at all, so yay a happy change.

Tagged by :iconveyrius:

1. You must post the rules.
2. Each person must post 5 things about themselves in their journal.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and create five new questions for the people you tag to answer
4. You have to choose 10 people to tag and post their icons on your journal.
5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged them.
6. No tag backs
7. No stuff in the tagging section about "you're tagged if you're reading this" You legitimately have to tag 10 people.

5 Things about me:

1. I love hamsters. Yeah, you could have figured if you see the journal skin. But I LOVE hamsters. I am obsessed with chubby, fatty, fluffy hamsters.
2. I am a hopelessly over-inspired person. Where most people crash with writer's block I actually have so many ideas that I have to choose my projects and hope I don't get taken by another idea. I have thousands of projects lying and waiting for a 'quiet' period so I can finish them
3. I am Dutch, But I really have a certain disgust for my language. My English is pretty well-developped because I hated writing in Dutch. I feel like stories and such get ruined in it. It's not a literary language, it does not have the weight and suspense I get from my English stuff. So... Chivalry? Not in my book.
4. I suck at sport. Like... Every single sport. Except if you count in archery. We went shooting on camp a few years back and I nailed it. The guy said I was talented. But yep, all other sports I do like a flopping whale.
5. I feel terribly insecure about my college choices. It has gone awry twice now and I feel like a terrible failure sometimes when I see my friends and siblings catch up and pass me like race-cars. I Always felt so certain about what I wanted and when that proved to be nothing for me I just dipped into some void and now I am not certain about anything anymore.

The tagger's questions:

1. If you could go anywhere in the world, anywhere at all, where would you go?
Egypt. Most definitely Egypt. I have been obsessed with it since I was 8 years old. I have felt it was where I should be at least once in my life. We almost went with my geography class of high school. But then the Arabic Spring began and we took off to Morrocco instead,

2. What would you do if you got the chance to make someone you love fall in love with you?
Ah well, you should probably be real cool and not do it... But I would. Honestly. I have never in my life ever gotten something like a boy-friend. Never. I get this terrible, invisible feeling and here at home I am feeling miserable when I see everyone I know get their relationships and stuff and I have yet to wonder what it will be like to get someone's attention. So yes. If I got the chance, I would take it and get myself a nice guy to finally be happy with.

3. Which is better, the book or the movie?
I love movies a lot, but if you want me to enjoy something? A book. I have a very visual mind and that allows me to completely envision a scene for myself. I can build pictures and little movies in my head when a story is written with care. I feel that it gives me more inspiration and teaches me more when it comes to storytelling. Movies for me are mostly a past-time. Something I put on to not get bored or to watch while working.

4. Do you prefer daytime or nighttime?
Well, however peaceful night-time is...  I love daytime more. My eyes are quite sharp, but I see very little when it's dark and due to that I have a bit of Achluophobia because it makes me feel really blind and watched. So yes, I rather stay where it's light

5. What do you look for in a man or a woman?
Well, I can honestly say that I am not as picky as some would think. I just want them to be honest. I want them to be real. If they have even the slightest hint of that arrogant macho behaviour they can leave. If a guy is able to just take me for who I am and respect that, even better, like it, then I am quite inclined to draw to him. And it would help if he knows how to calm me. I get upset easily so I would like to have somebody that I can come to for comfort.

For those I tag:

:iconreplicatorfifth:  :iconcuileth: :iconpunkmoxie: :icongpcat: :iconmagpies-wings: :iconankoxorofan: :icontigersoul6: :iconiloveasgardians: :iconhadenxcharm: :iconwitty-allowishus:

And your questions are:

1. Is there one medium you cannot do that you wished you mastered enough to create whatever you thought of?
2. Is there anything you feel really bummed about because your country does not have it/accept it?
3. If one of the dreams you ever had could come true which one would it be?
4. Do you love hamsters too? :p
5. What will Always be your most memorable experience?


I Wuv Hamsters stamp by ProfesorRodI love Hamsters by WishmasterAlchemistI love Dwarf Hamsters by WishmasterAlchemistI love Winter White Russian Dwarf Hamsters by WishmasterAlchemistI'm a hamster lover by pjukI love hamsters by RoxLunarisDwarf Hamsters Stamp by wolfheydwarf hamster love by Queer4Barbie

Graphic & CSS by kinga-saiyans | Journal Skin for Epselion
  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: Kamelot, piano guys, random tracks
  • Reading: fictions on internets, assassin's creed novels
  • Watching: Marvel movies, once upon a time,
  • Playing: uncharted... all of em again
  • Eating: glorious pasta, and some other stuff...
  • Drinking: diet coke... mostly, and apple juice


Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
Current Residence: The Netherlands
deviantWEAR sizing preference: L
Favourite genre of music: Hard rock, metal
Favourite style of art: fantasy
MP3 player of choice: I-pod
Favourite cartoon character: pikachu

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Add a Comment:
the-flying-dolphin Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2015  Hobbyist
Your Loki fics look really interesting, but it's kind of tough to read multichapter fics on this site--do you have an account on or Archive Of Our Own?
Epselion Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I do on both indeed! You can just find me there by the same username as here. I hope you really enjoy the fics if you have the time to read them. And I would love to hear what you think of them :D let me know if you had anything else to ask :)
the-flying-dolphin Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2015  Hobbyist
Whoops never mind, just found your AO3 account--probably should've checked under the same username before I asked. >_<
lokivsthor Featured By Owner May 2, 2014
Hello there, just wanted to say I really like your art!!kaomoji set 1 9/19 
Epselion Featured By Owner May 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
awwwws that is so sweet of you. I really like you :D
lokivsthor Featured By Owner May 8, 2014
Epselion Featured By Owner May 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:3 i suck at emojis hahahaha but eh squishy hug XD
AngelOfBeauty88 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aquiliris Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
We would like to invite you to AmateurArtistArmy.
If you would be interested, check the group. Greetings.
gpcat Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014
Happy new year darling <3
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